Fear
by athenades87
Summary: Pam writes Tara a letter after a huge argument... Pam/Tara, Tara/Pam, Para, Tamela...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This might turn into a mulit chapter fic. I dont know... I kinda lost my feel with the last one I am writing. I dont know where I am going to go with it, So I am just going to let it sit for now. Anyways I hope you enjoy...**

* * *

Pam sits quietly at her desk, looking at the pieces of vintage stationary scattered in front of her. Her and Tara just got done with one of the biggest fights she has even been in with anyone, and she's heart-broken.

Tara continues to bring up the future, about what they can have together and it scares her to death. She wont let Tara in. She wont give her that chance. She wont do it because of _fear_.

Tara left the bar after the argument and cut off her end of the bond, so Pam can't feel her hurt. She can't much blame her, the words she spoke to Tara were awful, even for Pam.

Pam's guilt plagues her like a diseases. For so long she has been with out anyone and she has grown accustom to not knowing what true love really was. Of course she had Eric, but that love was different.

So Pam begins to write Tara a letter, hoping to rekindle the flame with in Tara. The flame, her icy words almost quenched. She picks up her pen dabs the ink and begins to write.

Pam seals the letter with wax, writes Tara's name on the front and places a kiss on her name. She walks down to the basement and opens Tara's coffin and places the letter on her pillow. Pam retreats to hear coffin and closes the lid in just enough time to miss Tara descending the stair case.

Tara finds the letter and begins to read...

* * *

_Tara,_

_I have spent years building the walls, that you are desperately trying to knock down. I know nothing of this word you call love. It's a foreign language to me. I don't know how to speak the words that my heart desperately needs to say. I will write them instead, I hope this is enough for you to forgive me. I am truly sorry. _

_"Fear"_

_- I fear the darkness, only because it reminds me of my darkest dreams._

_- I fear the sun because it shows me my future. _

_- I fear love because I know from it only pain._

_- I fear your heart, because I'm afraid of breaking it. _

_- I hide behind my fear so I won't have to face the truth._

_- My fear hold me captive, under chains, under lock and key, no guarantee of escape. _

_- I am afraid to look at fear in the face for it reminds me of my weaknesses. _

_- I fear, for I am sane _

_- I fear, for I am me_

_- I fear_

_~Pamela~_

* * *

**So tell me what you think. Should I make this in to a chapter fic or leave as it.. please review and give me some feed back...Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: well I thought I would do it anyways lol. I like how this fic started in my head so I think I am going to put more into it. I am so passionate about Pam and Tara. I hope this relationship actually works out on the show and the writers don't end up doing some stupid shit. So here it is chapter 2 hope you all enjoy**

* * *

****Tara slowly closes the sheet of paper in her hands and shoots a glance at Pam's pink coffin. Crimson tears threaten the edges of Tara's eyes as she remembers the heart ache she experienced hours before.

xxx

_2:00 am_

_The club was dead, the last of the regulars start piling out the door. When all the patron were gone Ginger begins her nightly ritual of wiping the tables and bar down, while Tara restocks the liquor and True-Blood behind the bar. They were both done by 3, Ginger bids Tara a goodnight and heads for home._

_Stopping in the door frame Tara admires Pam as she shifts through the mounts of paper work and receipts. _

_She finally speaks "The bar is stocked and clean"_

_"And I care why" Pam deadpans_

_Tara's eyes brows frown forward as she walks in to the office and over to Pam, placing herself on the edge of the desk beside her, she is used to Pam smart ass remarks so she lets that one roll off her shoulders. She places a hand on Pam's forearm "what's wrong"? The touch burns Pam's and slithers like a snake up her arm and down to her center. _

_Pam jerks her arm away and cuts a Tara a glare. "Nothing that concerns you" she lied_

_"oookay" Tara stands and walks around the desk toward the door. She stops and turns around " You know what Pam, I don't know what type of person you perceive me to be, but I am a good person, I am good to you even though you treat me like shit. I just wish for once you would let me in the cold heart of yours and stop being such a cunt" Tara had finally had enough_

_Pam slowly looks up from her desk "what did you call me"?_

_"I called you a cunt, the word actually fits you, ya know... PUSSY" _

_In a seconds work Tara was slammed up against the walls "You've got some fucking balls Tara"_

_Tara slowly slides down the wall to the floor, Pam hovers over her "I don't know who the FUCK you think you are, or who the FUCK you think you want to be, but you are nothing, you will always be nothing, and you are nothing more to me than a burden" she lied again_

_Ever since Tara's heroic rescue from the authority Pam has been fighting her feelings for her. No one has ever done anything so daring for her. Risked their life to make sure hers was safe. She didn't know how to process it, So afraid of letting her guard down, so afraid of letting anyone in. Pam does what Pam does best... destroy, till there is nothing left. _

_Pam walks away only to hide her face from Tara, the words she just spoke to Tara, hurt her worse. She doesn't want to face a possible future with Tara as her lover, her soul mate. Her reason for walking this earth. The one to bring her from this darkness that has held her captive. She doesn't know how..._

_Tara slowly rises from the ground " a burden" she softly utters_

_"Yeah, I should have left you dead on the floor in Sookies kitchen" she lied yet again_

_She had done it, she had delivered the figurative true death to Tara. Her words cut Tara like a silver sword burning her body till it reached her heart and there it destroyed. _

_Defeated Tara walks to the door hovers for a moment then leaves._

_In the moment Pam's loses her composure, falls to her knees and begins to sob. Pam didn't mean anything that she said to Tara. She just needed her to quit to forget what happened... She didn't want to process this word she was feeling, a 4 letter word that would sink and unsinkable ship that would blast through a steel wall. A 4 letter word that would bring the wall around Pam's heart crashing to the ground... _

_love_

* * *

There it is chapter 2... Please tell me what you think... Should I keep going... Please please review it wont kill u lol


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Here's chapter 3 I hope yall enjoy...Its a snow day here so, what else is there to do? **

* * *

Tara stares at Pam coffin, unsure of what to do, so she stand there, just stands. Frozen with fear, frozen with hate, frozen with love. The floor settling above finally snaps Tara back to reality. Still eyeing Pam's coffin she walks slowly toward her and lifts the lid, she sits on the edge and watches Pam pretend to be asleep. She sits there for another few seconds before flipping Pam in between her eyes.

Eyes still closed Pam draws out "seriously"

With a smile on her face Tara speaks " I knew yo ass wasn't asleep"

Pam opens her eyes, Tara can see that she had been crying "Where did you go" she speaks softly

" Not far, I made it as far as the sidewalk and turned around. I've been sitting out back"

"oh" Pam shift slightly

They sit in silence for a few more moments before Tara finally spoke.

"Did you really mean what you wrote here"?

"Every word" Pam answers straight forwardly and without hesitation

"hmm" Tara stands up to walk away

Pam raises up out of her coffin "where are you going?"

"To bed" Tara simply answers as she raises her coffin lid and climbs in and closes it.

Pam stares at her coffin dumbfounded, her bottom lip begins to quiver, she slowly lowers her self back down..

"Oh" Tara begins as she opens her coffin back up looking at Pam. She hold her letter up "You'll have a chance to prove your words to me tonight" She winks at Pam "night"

Pam smiles and settles in for the sleep ahead. She is looking forward to proving her self to Tara. Proving her love, proving that Tara is the only reason she walks this earth, the only reason she is alive. The only thing in the world that matters.

* * *

**I think I kinda wanna finish it here.. I dunno... Anyways review let me know.. Thanks all for the support!**


End file.
